At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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