Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I can text with my tongue
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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