Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
