we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
