im holly from the hills drunk
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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