he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
