People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
