I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
