that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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