i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
