Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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