I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Randomize
