Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
