He disabled his match.com account in front of me
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
