i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
