Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
this will be a night to untag.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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