Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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