You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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