PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
