He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
