There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
