I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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