Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
