planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
