Plan B is the new Plan A
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
When are your genitals available?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
