She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
