she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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