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• (415): View more from California

  Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling

  (415): View more from California

  God, I love San Francisco.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?

  (317): View more from Indiana

  all hypothetical of course

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  How's work?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Spinning.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow

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• (716): View more from New York

  I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes

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• (587): View more from Alberta

  So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.

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• (315): View more from New York

  He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins

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• (406): View more from Montana

  If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.

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