I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
