So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
