Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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