She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
