I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Let's get the cat blown out
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
