How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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