I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
