We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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