no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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