i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I party with great urgency now.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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