I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
she looked like the before picture.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
