you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
