so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
handjob tips. give me some.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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