Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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