You're completely useless in the revolution.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
