She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
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