am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
