And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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