they need to just BURY HIM!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
