I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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