did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
