she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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