she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
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