He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
