you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Randomize
