just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
