New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
