nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
