Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
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Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You dont lie about slip and slides
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
