Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
