Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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