i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
