yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
My bed smells like the plague
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize