You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
