wakey wakey hands off snakey
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
