i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
